Woolgathering
Oct. 26th, 2010 04:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
windlionI sallied forth, and I have returned! Naturally, there were some exceedingly up and down moments for the venture, but I guess it was more or less successful. Family was visited, culture was obtained, crap luck was had, ransoms were paid, cities were evaluated. Chicago falls somewhere short of London, and thus is much more attainable. I have been forcibly reminded that one does not always get their first love (especially when the exchange rate is bollocks and would destroy my relatively meager savings). Chicago is, however, miles and miles of bad road ahead of Philadelphia, which is a cesspit of humanity (except for the food and family). I broke down the pros and cons on lj, so I shall not repeat it.
I am told that Boston is a more Northeasterly twin of Chicago, or at least a sibling raised apart, so that bears some looking into as one is three hours away and the other three /by air./ My partner-in-crime-or-atleast-housing is sick and tired of the Northeast, though, so that may be more of a strike against it. I am going to be lucky if she doesn't up and move to Austin to be close to her nearest and dearest film critics; the rent alone would be murder.
Since I've had two days before I have to go back to work (which I dread with every fiber of my being) - I'm woolgathering. I've been putzing about the internet, reading blogs of people a lot more interesting/talented/successful than I am, and then thinking about where I stand and all the things in my head. It makes me want to untangle things for myself, then lay them out, as I tend to think more clearly in writing. It also makes me want to figure out what exactly my ambitions are- my direction and where I'm going. That's going to take more than this entry can hold, though.
At some point, I ought to write an essay-entry about sexuality- mine, my views, and my characters- but frankly that might squick people, embarrass myself, and I am not really intense or educated enough to pull off using words like heteronormative that other people can. I think I'm grateful that neither my sex nor my sexuality is my defining feature, and I think that comes across in my characters. I can hope that their relationships aren't the cliched seme/uke or bad chick flick man/woman dynamics that are all over. I can only hope that they feel /real/. I think that's my highest goal as a writer- establishing fiction that rings true.
I still need to work on my sampler project; I have to pick out which characters are essential to which piece of work, then throw down something that best represents them quickly. And it's kind of telling that I think the most representative bit is /characters/, not a scene or a setting or other, though when you come down to it, there's plenty of other people's works who are most strongly influenced by other elements than the characters.
That's something I do really like about writing: building characters. You are, essentially, hauling out a piece of your own self, twisting, folding and stretching it almost out of recognition, then setting it forth on the stage to interact with other bits of yourself. Not that this is always consciously done, if ever, but it's fun to sit back and poke your characters going "Ah. Yeah, I see where you came from." Naturally some of them are more fun than others. I've got one character who embodies my snark, anxieties, crap luck and love of cleverness; another holds down my "lawful good" unremarkable boy/girl next door normalcy and idealism from a good, well-adjusted family; one represents my stubbornness, shyness and antipathy towards other human beings squared, with a hidden dose of insecurities for flavoring. Then there's the id, the bitter, cynical sour critic who doesn't hold back (but turns out to be ragingly jealous of people who can fit in).
Naturally, some of them are more fun to write than others, and my, does that say things you don't want to look at too closely. XD The other thing I like is building worlds for them to run about in, which is why I have too many AUs that I am not allowed to write. What I need to get better at is sustaining plot - taking all that background, character building and world rules and throwing 'em into situations to see how things roll. I really, really appreciate authors who can spin a story while keeping their characters true to themselves and consistently obeying their world rules. There's at least one manga which I follow strictly because the writer has the main lead fail- fail believably, repeatedly, and for all the right reasons- and then has the people around the lead react accordingly. So I have things to aspire to.
It's easy to say "I want to be a better writer." or "I'd like to live somewhere that I enjoy." or "I don't want to hate my job." It's a lot harder to know what to /do/ with that, or how to achieve it. It's hard for me to not get bundled up in the "But but but- how is it going to /work/?!" I get so focused on the potential problems and pains that are so very plausible that I neglect that success, or at least, not complete failure, might be an option. I guess I'm a work in progress.
I am told that Boston is a more Northeasterly twin of Chicago, or at least a sibling raised apart, so that bears some looking into as one is three hours away and the other three /by air./ My partner-in-crime-or-atleast-housing is sick and tired of the Northeast, though, so that may be more of a strike against it. I am going to be lucky if she doesn't up and move to Austin to be close to her nearest and dearest film critics; the rent alone would be murder.
Since I've had two days before I have to go back to work (which I dread with every fiber of my being) - I'm woolgathering. I've been putzing about the internet, reading blogs of people a lot more interesting/talented/successful than I am, and then thinking about where I stand and all the things in my head. It makes me want to untangle things for myself, then lay them out, as I tend to think more clearly in writing. It also makes me want to figure out what exactly my ambitions are- my direction and where I'm going. That's going to take more than this entry can hold, though.
At some point, I ought to write an essay-entry about sexuality- mine, my views, and my characters- but frankly that might squick people, embarrass myself, and I am not really intense or educated enough to pull off using words like heteronormative that other people can. I think I'm grateful that neither my sex nor my sexuality is my defining feature, and I think that comes across in my characters. I can hope that their relationships aren't the cliched seme/uke or bad chick flick man/woman dynamics that are all over. I can only hope that they feel /real/. I think that's my highest goal as a writer- establishing fiction that rings true.
I still need to work on my sampler project; I have to pick out which characters are essential to which piece of work, then throw down something that best represents them quickly. And it's kind of telling that I think the most representative bit is /characters/, not a scene or a setting or other, though when you come down to it, there's plenty of other people's works who are most strongly influenced by other elements than the characters.
That's something I do really like about writing: building characters. You are, essentially, hauling out a piece of your own self, twisting, folding and stretching it almost out of recognition, then setting it forth on the stage to interact with other bits of yourself. Not that this is always consciously done, if ever, but it's fun to sit back and poke your characters going "Ah. Yeah, I see where you came from." Naturally some of them are more fun than others. I've got one character who embodies my snark, anxieties, crap luck and love of cleverness; another holds down my "lawful good" unremarkable boy/girl next door normalcy and idealism from a good, well-adjusted family; one represents my stubbornness, shyness and antipathy towards other human beings squared, with a hidden dose of insecurities for flavoring. Then there's the id, the bitter, cynical sour critic who doesn't hold back (but turns out to be ragingly jealous of people who can fit in).
Naturally, some of them are more fun to write than others, and my, does that say things you don't want to look at too closely. XD The other thing I like is building worlds for them to run about in, which is why I have too many AUs that I am not allowed to write. What I need to get better at is sustaining plot - taking all that background, character building and world rules and throwing 'em into situations to see how things roll. I really, really appreciate authors who can spin a story while keeping their characters true to themselves and consistently obeying their world rules. There's at least one manga which I follow strictly because the writer has the main lead fail- fail believably, repeatedly, and for all the right reasons- and then has the people around the lead react accordingly. So I have things to aspire to.
It's easy to say "I want to be a better writer." or "I'd like to live somewhere that I enjoy." or "I don't want to hate my job." It's a lot harder to know what to /do/ with that, or how to achieve it. It's hard for me to not get bundled up in the "But but but- how is it going to /work/?!" I get so focused on the potential problems and pains that are so very plausible that I neglect that success, or at least, not complete failure, might be an option. I guess I'm a work in progress.
